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Resilience part 1: Regulate your emotions

Image with the words turn down the emotional volume
  1. Name your emotions
  2. Understand your emotions
  3. Choose a mood booster

Emotions, even the unpleasant ones such as anger and sadness, are a normal and important part of life. They give us clues as to whether something needs to change or is unjust, and also help us to feel alive and motivated.

While it is important to feel emotions and to accept them, sometimes emotions can feel too much to handle, and can start to impact negatively on us. For example, feeling extremely angry or sad all the time can get in the way of your day-to-day living.

1. Name your emotions: A first simple step

Before you can work with your emotions to regulate them, you need to know what it is that you’re feeling right now. Are you nervous? Disappointed? Sad? Excited?

Put a name to your emotions, just inside your own head. For example, say silently to yourself “I feel embarrassed right now”.

Naming or labelling your emotions helps you to know what is going on with you right now, and takes some of the intensity out of what you’re feeling. From a neurological perspective, the process of naming your emotions actually helps the left and right hemispheres of your brain work together, so that you feel calmer. It helps to bring the logic of the left brain hemisphere in to calm down the more emotional right hemisphere. Read up more on this topic.

2. Understand your emotions

Once you know what you’re feeling, it’s helpful to understand why. Rather than fighting off the feelings, just sit with them for a while and have a think about what is causing them. Are you angry because it’s been harder than you thought to adjust to university life? Or did you have a misunderstanding with someone? Are you sad because you experienced a loss that you never had the chance to deal with?

If you feel that you need extra help in understanding or naming your emotions, counselling (such as at CCDU) may help.

3. Choose a mood booster

When you are in a bad mood, it’s often easy to get drawn into activities that continue to make the mood last - such as staying isolated, complaining, or mindlessly scrolling through your phone.

Think of some things that make you feel happy, and try them to boost your mood when you’re struggling. Some mood boosters include:

  • Talking to a friend about something interesting - not just continuing to complain
  • Go for a walk outside or around campus
  • Focus on where you are right now, and enjoying the moment
  • Listen to uplifting music

Plan ahead for what you will do next time you are in a bad mood, and then try out the idea and put it into action. Read more on MOOD BOOSTERS

Up next

Resilience part 2: Outlook & perspective | Resilience part 3: Taking steps

Wits Student Crisis Line 0800 111 331 (24/7/365)

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